badstar: (Default)
"Shrimp Toast" sounds like a band name.

Seriously, pop punk anyone?
badstar: (Default)
Roommate decided to show up in my dreams again today. It was highly amusing.

I had to go into a kitchen store to buy something, and it was a bit of a chore talking [ profile] chironcentaur to go in with me, but somehow I managed. Once in the store, she was like a kid in a toy shop, running around all giddy and maniacally giggly, picking up every little thing and telling anyone nearby how she could torture people with it- this was especially amusing because it was a particularly upscale store, and the customers seemed to be particularly snotty and were not very amused with this.

The dream ended with us standing in line so I could buy what I came in for, gavin standing nearby with a lemon zester, running it over her hand with a happy little smile on her face and another customer standing next to me, looking utterly horrified.

I told her about this a few minutes ago when she came home, and was promptly told that I had to post it on LJ.

Well, there it is.
badstar: (you didn't see that)
List your most significant accomplishments/contributions since the last review or since hire.

I'm assuming that it would not go over well if one of the items listed were "Did not kill Gary before he went back to day shift."

(Then again, depending on who you ask, that's neither an accomplishment nor a contribution.)
badstar: (Default)
[ profile] stellthebelle, I think you'll appreciate this...


What does it stand for?

Dedicants Program, right? Right.

Well unbeknownst to just about all of you, it also has another meaning for me. One that I forgot for quite a while...until today.

So earlier, I was talking to [ profile] acousticdryad about various and sundry ADF things, including...the DP. I'm typing and out of nowhere, I start typing "flaming" instead of just "DP"

Flaming DP. I dunno why I suddenly remembered it and was typing, but there it was, and it took me a second to remember WTF "flaming" was doing in front of DP.

For practically everyone who sees this, "Flaming DP" is a beverage that was (is?) popular with folks in my chapter of Alpha Phi Omega. Basically, it involved amaretto, cheap beer and just enough 151 to light things on fire...apparently it tastes like Dr Pepper when properly executed. I don't like Dr Pepper or amaretto. At the time, I just really disliked beer, didn't realize I was allergic (or hadn't yet developed the allergy actually) so I never had one.

But then the next thing that came to mind...yes, Stell, I still remember this, was the roll call from the Section 41 conference the semester I the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme...

Come and listen to a story 'bout a chapter named AO
We're the first in Texas don't listen to Alpha Rho
We belong to region seven and section 41
So we figured here at Austin was the place to have some fun.

College that is, at this here conference.

Here are some of our pledges and they are very smart
Listen to these things that they know by heart
AO rules the world and that's all you need to know
And now that we've told you, maybe we should go

Back to SMU for a Flaming DP! (Wha!)
badstar: (Default)

The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate destiny

Work safe, unless flash animation and a little badly-drawn cartoon violence is against your work policy. In which it at home.

Then tell your friends to watch it.

It's kinda up there with The End Of The World in terms of badly-drawn and really funny flash animations

(Speaking of which, if you've never seen it... )
badstar: (Default)
So, yesterday at work, Rich (trainer and QC guy) IMed one of the tier two guys with a question.

The conversation went like this:

Rich: Hey, Henry how's it going?
Henry: Give me sex.

It took several minutes before Rich could respond and in the meantime he turned several colors which I'm reasonably sure are not found in nature. Now, keep in mind that 1. Henry is not a native speaker of English and 2. Yeah, we're pretty sure it was a typo.

But "Give me sex." or some reference to this has become a staple comment on the team. Today we had to transfer a powerpoint presentation from a computer to one of the video conferencing units. First, we had to make a presentation, but it just had to have one or two slides to comprise a file. So...the first slide said "Give me sex. Love, Henry." which would up being on the screen for half the day. And about every other time someone walked into the room with a question, the answer would be something like "I don't know, but if you give Henry sex, he might tell you."

It is probably a good thing that this poor guy works up in Massachusetts.

Lots of fun working with almost all guys. I hear way too much about baseball and world of warcraft (not that WOW is a guy thing, I know several women who are addicted beyond belief) but there are also some of the most random conversations. Like, somehow today I managed to inspire a conspiracy to shut down the Hunt Valley Walmart and turn the place into a giant strip club.

These are the same people that I will be working with when I switch to night shift in a few weeks. Which should be entertaining.
badstar: (Default)

This is a funny word. I hear and say it often in my job.

"I have a defective unit"
"What is the problem with this unit?"
"My unit is out to lunch." (someone said that to me yesterday.)
badstar: (Default)
My hair color has derailed one conversation so far this morning.
badstar: (Default)
There is a small pile of outgoing mail in the office out box.

All but one item is Netflix envelopes. (Yes, I was a contributer)
badstar: (Default)

This prayer antenna was invented so as to better communicate with God. In other words, all you got to do is strap your head to one of these helmets while you're in the midst of prayer, and your thoughts will be broadcast more powerfully back and forth towards the Almighty. Do note that this helmet doesn't come with just one antenna, but many antennas so that one can access the omnipresent more readily.

This is just effing hilarious. I'm sure it's a joke, but I don't care. It's that funny.
badstar: (Default)
So this morning on the way to work, I was listening to (don't laugh) John Denver and the song Rocky Mountain High came on. And out of the blue, I remembered something from 5th grade:

So one day while we're learning all about the evils of drugs and whatnot, our teacher brings in a record and plays that song for us, and distributes a sheet with the song lyrics printed on it.

She asks us if we think that "rocky mountain high" is referring to being high from drugs, and we proceed to learn about being "high on life".

and then she asks us if we think that the line "friends around a campfire and everybody's high" refers to being high on drugs...and of course, everyone's all "No, they're all high on life!"

And my thought when that line played this morning? Yeah, like hell they're all just high on life. Maybe the song in general refers to being high on life/nature/thinner altitude, less oxygen...but that one line? No way.

I am highly amused.
badstar: (Default)
Doorbell just rang. Guy in a blue jacket was at the door- for a second I thought it was the postman. I was a bit thrown buy the fact that he's wearing a surgical mask...but it is allergy season and some people get it that bad. He holds out a folded piece of paper to me and says that he'd like to invite everyone living in this house to a celebration at his church every Sunday.

"Thank you, we already celebrate at another church every Sunday."

Sometimes I really love that I can say things like that. Yes, I go to church. Yes, every Sunday. Yes, I really do mean every Sunday. It's a very small house church up in the northeastern part of the city.

It's true and it keeps things peaceful.
badstar: (Default)
Amusing, short bit about runes and "Viking graffiti"

It doesn't give references for its information, so I can't speak of its authenticity, but it is amusing.
badstar: (Default)
These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism
Website. It would appear that the answers came from an Aussie.

1. Q. Does it ever rain in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV. How do the plants grow? (question came from UK)
A. We import plants fully grown, then just sit around watching them die.

2. Q. Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (from USA)
A. Depends how much you've had to drink.

3. Q. I want to walk from Perth to Sydney. Can I follow the railway track? (from Sweden)
A. Sure, it's only 3,000 miles. Take plenty of water.

4. Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (from Sweden)
A. So it's true what the say about Swedes?

5. Q. It is imperative I find the names of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise (from Italy)
A. Let's not touch this one.

6. Q. Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville, Alice Springs, Darwin and Hervey Bay? (from UK)
A. What did your last slave die of?

7. Q. Can you give me information about hippo racing in Australia? (from USA)
A. A-Fri-Ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-Tra-Lia is that big island in the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, hippo racing is every Tuesday night in King's Cross. Come Naked.

8. Q. Which direction is north in Australia? (from USA)
A. Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you arrive and we'll give you the rest of the directions.

9. Q. Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (from UK)
A. Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10. Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boy's Choir schedule? (from USA)
A. Aus-Tri-A, it's that quaint little country near Germany, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boy's Choir plays every Tuesday night in King's Cross straight after the hippo racing. Come Naked.

11. Q. Do you have perfume in Australia? (from France)
A. No. WE don't stink.

12. Q. I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (from USA)
A. Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q. Can I wear high heels in Australia? (from UK)
A. You are a British politician, right?

14. Q. Can you tell me the regions where the female population is smaller than the male? (from Italy)
A. Yes. Gay nightclubs.

15. Q. Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (from France)
A. Yes, but only at Christmas.

16. Q. Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (from Germany)
A. No. Australia is a nation of peaceful Vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

17. Q. Please send a list of doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum (from USA)
A. Rattlesnakes live in A-Meri-Ca, where you come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make excellent pets.

18. Q. I want to know about a famous Australian animal but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (from USA)
A. It's called a Drop-Bear, so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath. You can ward them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

19. Q. I was in Autralia in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated when I was staying in King's Cross. Can you help? (from USA)
A. Yes, but you will still have to pay her by the hour.

20. Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (from USA)
A. Yes, but you need to learn it first.
badstar: (Default)
Fiammalibellula [9:25 PM]: human schmuman. i like my cat, i tell him i love him, he purrs and brings me dead things. now that's love!

Dead things? )


badstar: (Default)

July 2013



RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 19th, 2017 04:58 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios