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[Error: unknown template qotd]

Um...so when I was a little kid, I was terrified of Dan Rather and Tom Brokaw. When I saw them on TV, I would run out of the room and refuse to come back until they were gone.

I was also, to a smaller extent, afraid of Paul Harvey, but I heard a lot less of him on the radio than I saw of Dan rather or Tom Brokaw on TV.
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Yanked from oh...everyone.

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In August I stole [livejournal.com profile] erl_queen's purse (-30 points). In January I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). In September I turned [livejournal.com profile] chronarchy in for eating carbs (3 points). Last Sunday I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). Last week I helped [livejournal.com profile] carynml hide a body (-173 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-976 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!

Sincerely,
fuego

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
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Is it sad that I'm horribly amused at having just talked to someone named Rick Deckard? He even sounded kinda like Harrison Ford.
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http://www.onehorseshy.com/asian/kanji_shirt/


Does the character on this shirt actually mean "shirt"

If so, I think I want one.
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http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007030603,00.html

TOM Cruise is the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.

The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.

“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

Cruise joined the Church of Scientology in the ’80s. Leader L Ron Hubbard claimed humans bear traces of an ancient alien civilisation.



This article prompted someone on another forum to come up with a new song (Or at least twist the first lines of one preexisting)...

"Tom Cruise loves me, this I know.
L Ron Hubbard told me so..."
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To prepare for this ritual, clear a space for the circle in the center of the kitchen. Then don your ceremonial apron and hold your ceremonial spatula in your right hand. Stand in the center of the circle and face east. You are ready to begin:

1.. With your spatula, draw a banishing pentagram to the East. Then, thrust your spatula through the pentagram and say, "Microwave dinners, be gone!"
2.. Move to the South. Again, draw a banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it. "TV dinners, be gone!"
3.. Move to the West. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it. "Ramen instant noodles, be gone!"
4.. Move to the north. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it, "Mystery meat in a can, be gone!"
5.. Move to the center of the circle and stand still. Chant the following:

Before me, Martha Stewart.
Behind me, Betty Crocker.
To my right side, Julia Child.
To my left side, Martha Stewart, AGAIN!
6.. Visualize yourself standing in a giant casserole and proclaim, "For about me bakes the casserole, and around me shines the 6-course meal."
7.. Clap your hands three times and say, "It's a good thing."
The rite is over.

If the ritual is not effective, please order take-out ASAP.
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http://www.southbaltimore.com/fireworks/index.html


click on the picture to make fireworks appear in the Baltimore sky
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The Alice In Wonderland ritual.

I think I might actually write this one, it's already taking place in my mind. I've never read the book, so it's based off the Disney movie. Which at one time was my favorite movie. Hehe...

Four different people this weekend have told me that I should be a Discordian....
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http://www.keepmecurrent.com/guestcolumns/story.cfm?storyID=17734

no registration to read.

I've read it through a few times, I can't really tell what exactly the writer's point is. Or if he even has one. I just know that this part amuses me:

First, there was the tantalizing item in the league’s daily e-mail newsletter of April 19, in which the group announced that, the U.S. Constitution notwithstanding, certain religions “which worship the forces of darkness” should be banned. “There is no room in a modern age for superstitions which contravene reasonable standards of ethics,” wrote the nameless author (probably league executive director Michael Heath), “or which seek to manipulate the forces of darkness by casting spells and incantations.”

That seems like a pretty good description of the U.S. Congress, but that doesn’t appear to be the author’s target. Among those singled out for banning are Wiccans, pagans and Gnostics (defined by the league as anybody who’s read “The Da Vinci Code” or plans to see the movie). These fiends are responsible for, among other outrages, Goth fashions, tattoos and Spike TV.
badstar: (taunt you)
Me: ok...this elements of ritual book...interesting, good pracical advice, but damn, she's a little too picky about some things

Mea: hwoso?

Me: athames are black-handled. never wear a watch during ritual, it's inappropriate because time doesn't exists...don't use glass dishes, they're too modern

Mea: screw her!

Me: i dunno about you, but i know plenty of people withathames that are something other than black

Mea: yup

Me: and the whole glass dish thing??? WTF is wrong with modernity??? i mean...it's what we are. what is so wrong wit contemporary? it's the same issue i take with people who insist on wearing en faire garb to every ritual

er, ren raire

bah, i can't type. i give up

Mea: its all good

Me: it just...arg, it annoys me to no end

Mea: me too

Me: do people think the gods are so offended by glass? and contemporary clothing?

Me: yes

Me:personally, i really dig glass. and glass has been around forever.

Mea: Isis will smite me if I don't wear my Moresca Bodice and use my black athame

and remove my hello kitty watch

Me: it's not a modern thing

what does Bast think of hello kitty?

Mea: that's a good question

postd to LJ

Me: hehehe

if you're going egyptian, is it really appropriate to wear a european-style bodice?



(more about the book mentioned later when i finish reading it)
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Dear People Who Are In Charge Of Disseminating Information On Mythology,

Greek and Roman mythology may have many similarities and parallels and stuff but they are not mirror images with a name change! Go do your research! It's not like there aren't plenty of original sources available.

Love,

Fuego



Dear Disney,

Hercules was Roman. Herakles was Greek. WTF is wrong with you?

Cordially,

Fuego
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When a cat's paws come to rest on one's sternum or clavicle, said cat becomes the weight of a Clydesdale for the duration of said rest.
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I plan to spend Saturday bumming around my house barefoot, probably in pajamas most of the day, drinking lots of coffee, catching up on my Dedicant's Program stuff, reading, writing and having delusions of intellectual grandeur. With a possible interlude for some long distance flirting. Seeing as that depends on someone being availble to flirt, I don't have complete control over that aspect of the day. Yes, I have someone in mind...But if someone else wants to flirt, I might be able to arrange something ;-)

I should also do some ritual writing for the Full Moon coming up. That's going to be fun (Break out the crayons and finger paints!!!)

Good times.
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I'm watching tea leech out of the teabag. Black cherry tea. Pretty :-)
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If there's no such thing as evolution, I bet it was really amusing to watch packs of teacup poodles roam wild back in biblical times...

(or maybe that's devolution...)

QOTD!

Feb. 13th, 2006 01:23 pm
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From [livejournal.com profile] forexample, by way of [livejournal.com profile] evadd4w6

"fear leads to anger. anger leads to hate. hate leads to pat robertson"
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In an IM conversation with Dave: "Yah know, dipping my sushi in soy sauce and uh...I'm suddenly forgetting the word for the green stuff. "Pastrami" is coming to mind, but I know that's not it, but anyway the dipping and either demonstrating how great I am with chopsticks, or just totally dropping my chunk of philly roll into the dish is half of what eating sushi is all about."

and about half a second later...

"WASABI!!!"
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I really appreciate...and absolutely abhor...belonging to a religious congregation where people think nothing of sitting around in sacred space and busting into a conversation comprised solely of Gnome puns. Prompted by someone commenting on the glaring fact...that there was a Yard Gnome perched very conspicuously on the altar.

Remind me what I'm doing with these people? *giggle*

Caryn cracks me up and now that she's retiring from the Coast Guard, no doubt, there will be plenty more "So I was sitting around one day with nothing to do, when...." stories. And Will just reminds me of a slightly mad professor.

And we had a moment of fortuitous synchronicity...or something...today when I was discussing my plans for the full moon ritual next Sunday evening...and Caryn announces that I was using things that she was planning to teach about during the lore meeting earlier that afternoon.

So I've got a bit of ritual writing to do...and this one should be easy, since it's one I've done a few times before, really jsut need to write it up and tweak a bit for the occasion. If all goes well- or I don't get distracted (cue the chorus of Little Bunny FooFoo!), I'll be mostly finished with it tonight, and them some ponderation about Imbolc.
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I'm kinda sick of having to explain my thoughts to other people. Why can't y'all just grasp what I'm saying? Is it really too much to ask for people to be able to follow and comprehend the insane jumble of incoherency that frequently spews forth from my brain? It's not THAT difficult, is it? (Please note that the preceeding was in jest. Or at least, that's what I want you to think.)

To that effect, I think I should hire a translator. Someone to organize my thoughts for me, so I can spend that time thinking more effed-up thoughts and not worry about making sense of them for the rest of the world. All you need to do is transcribe, type them up and organize them into coherency. Burn them to CD-ROM and I'll look over them and approve them once a week for publication.

Any takers?

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