This Folks, Is Why I Hate January...

Let's make the Chiristmas In PA synopsis nice and to the point...It reminded me every second of how I don't belong there. Mom even finally agreed, saying that I am "Definitely not of the same mindset as your sister and brothers" I'm also the only one of the 4 of us who will not, in my present condition, require surgery sometime in the next year. Mike's got a 3rd degree burn on his hand that He let get infected before he went to the hospital, the moron. Chelle's got nerve problems in her hand. Anthony's got whatever it is Anthony's got...I forget what they call it, when they diagnosed it, the insurance company had never even heard of it, it was that rare..there's somethign like 12 or 13 documented cases in the world my mom tells me. Debilitating disorder where the bones in the feet don't get enough blood. In every case that his doctors have found, the person eventually ended up in a wheelchair. In several cases, that's been put off by a surgery where the bones in the feet are all used together. But have still ended in wheelchair. And they're forecastig the need to do this surgery inthe next year.

Oh yeah...AND Anthony's sayig that he wants to move to Oklahoma City with his grlfriend in February. Let'sjust say..Mom's NOT happy. Anthony isn't the most responsible kid. Good grief...he's 20 now...all of us are in our 20's.

There was a lot more hurt..but This is my January Bitch Post, Not Christmas Bitch Post...

Ok...this is from december, but it's more related to January...but the night I got back from PA, I took a long nap and was woken up to the roommate BLASTING rap. I mean BLASTING. A little while later, he says he wants to talk to me. And by "talk to me" he means suddenly announcing thathe thinks I should stay til the end of january because the person that was going to move in changed their mind and if I move out I'd be screwing him over on the apartment and I said I wouldn't move until someone else moved in, and if I screwed him over, he'd be a realy nasty person to deal with blah blah blah. I gave it maybe 15 minutes attempt to have a grownup conversation...thatdidn't hapen. Ended up with me saying thatif it was a choice between moving into a really great place (At that point, it still looked like I was probably going to get into the copycat building) and staying here for another month after he told me he didnt care and wanted me out ASAP, I'd be outta here. He tried to start again. I ended yet another one with "This discussion is over" and retreated to my room.

I'm looking for new place to live. Checking out a bunch of places tomorrow and Monday. What a way to spend my days off.

I haven't slept right in over a week, I've been dreaming about nothing but work. Troubleshooting people's computers. I wake up every hour or so. Go back to sleep and repeat the same thing over and over and over. A few mights ago, my dreams started involving work sending cals to my cell phone. That's the worst kind of "taking work home with you" that I can think of. The last 2 nights, I've been treated to a variety...dreaming about work AND apartment-hunting.

I'm homeless at work now. They just sprang "Hotelling" on me yesterday. New chick took my desk. Watch me be bitter. I don't blame her. I blame whichever supervisor pulled my name out of a hat. (That's how Doug says it happened anyway. Either that or he wanted me out of throwing range so I would stop throwing stuff at him when I'm trying to ask a question and he doesn't hear me.) Amber moved me back over to Darwin for the day. I got to use my own computer one last time...and that was because I asked to let it alone for the weekend yet so I could finish backing up my files. Damn...I forgot to back up the pictures that I took in training....not that there was anhyitng great, they were just random snapshots..but they were fun.

On a happy note...I have speakers that plug into my ipod, so I don't have to cart a book full of cd's around. I think i'll be ok as long as I can keep my filing cabinet. that and I hold out a smidge of hope that this hotelling thing will only last 2 months...they were originally saying that this would be on a 2-month rotating basis....*crosses fingers*

Oh..and I almost got hit by a car the other night. I mean literally, 6 inches from a car doing what I estimate to be 90...didn't slow down, stop, put on the breaks anyhitng. Intersection of Gilroy and Beaver Dam by my office. Whatever fucktarddecided not to put in a traffic light was an irresponsible moron. So yeah.there's this car. it wasnt there, and suddenly it was. I was able to take that one crucial step back JUST in time. I'm going to have to say that this was maybe worse than The day after my birthday last year because it wasn't behind me, it was right in front of my face, I saw how close the car was. I freaked. I tried to call my mom, barely left a message on the answering machine, not saying anyhting about it though. Mom called me back within a few mintues and by that time I was hyperventilating and crying and couldn't speak. I told her what happened, then went rght into the sleep thing, crying about that. Mom goes al fluffy-bunny on me and strts going on about how I'm protected by angels and stuff, and how somethign is bothering me and I shuld "ask my spirit guides what's bothering me" Ok Mumsie...i don't need to ask. I'll give you a laundry list of what's bothering me...went back into the office and waited another hour til Matt got off of work so I could get a ride home instead of taking the bus. I didn't trust myself to not totally freak out again and start panicking. Had fun on the way home with Matt, discussing out mutual love of the Smashing Pumpkins and how it was a tragedy thatthey broke up, and there never was or will be another band like them.

Sick of having a roommate that only communicates with me through white-board scrawls and nasty-grams at work. He ate the rest of my pepperjack cheese today. When I discovered it gone, I asked if he did. Answer? "Maybe. I might have." Ok sparky...It was there last night when i put it away. I saw it this morning when I got milk from the fridge bfore I left for work. One of us ate it, and it wasn't me. Process of elimination anyone?

Oh yeah...and it keeps raining.

OK...I'm ging to sleep now if I want to get up in time to make it to Cedarlight tomorrow morning. Gotta leave early enough to pick up something to take along for brunch. I've been there twice now. The first time, I just took myself because I didn't have a clue. Meant to take something along last time, but woke up far too late. I really like this group. Being there feels right. Much like Full Circle did back in PA.

Sleep time.