(no subject)

I want my time back.

Seriously, like, Now.

I just completely wasted 6 hours, and I have to do it again tomorrow. I'm on unemployment so the state commands me to attend an "Early Intervention Seminar" (Kinda sounds like a drug rehab thing, doesn't it?) If I don't attend, I lose eligibility for unemployment.

So first thing that happens...I walk into the building and get grilled because I don't have ID. (I forgot to grab my wallet this morning) I tell the security guard that I didn't know I needed it to get in, the letter I recieved commanding me to show up never indicated that I needed to bring anyhting. I showed him the letter and he lectures me on how I must carry ID at all times by federal law, and he has no idea if I'm the person on the letter or not. But he lets me in anyway.

Second of all, this thing is supposed to start at 9. At 10, we're all sitting around doing NOTHING, and I'm reading a book. Finally the lady running the rehab decided that we should all start by introducing ourselves and teing what we used to do before we got addicted unemployed. Then wentinto an hour long (okay, probably 15-minute saga of her own employment history. Then it was our turn. All forty-some of us.

The rest of the day was an amalgamation of unbeieveable stupidity. I learned precisely zip. The ladt running the whole mess was a native speaker of Engish, but she couldn't pronounce half the most basic words in the English language, her grammar was a paralyzing nightmare. And she's supposed to be helping us with hw to get a new job? I mean...everyone there was there because they had a job which was lost due to no fault of their own. Most had been at the job two years or more...so its obvious that we can get and hold jobs.

We were also lectured on various things like interview dress and behavior by a woman who should NOT have been talking about office dress. Her shirt was so small, you could see half her stomach and it looked like her boobs were going to pop out from under the shirt. (I don't think she was wearing a bra either)

then we were treated to an hour of nonsensical double-speak by someone from the city's Baltimore Works program. He wasn't so happy when someone in the group said he'd already tried to use their services and it was the complete opposite of the wonderful, helpful rograms that there were and he was getting nowhere. So he tried all sorts of overcompensation tactics to make us forget that. Didn't work. He kept referring to us as "displaced workers", and when I asked if thats not jsut a fancy way to say "unemployed through no fault of our own", he responded with "No it's not, displaced workers are people wh have been determined by the state to have been holding jobs and then unemployed because of something that they couldn't prevent, they didn't quit or get fired due to performance issues." So I said again "Okay, so it means unemployed through not fault of our own then, correct?" He just scowled at me, said "No they're not exactly the same." and proceeded to ignore me.

The main facillitator lady aso kept mentioning all these really great programs that you can take advantage of with this and that and blah blah blah, but any time someone tried to ask her about them, she would say "Oh, I don't have information about them. Sorry, I can't tell you that."

Oh, and we must all be sooooo stressed for being unemployed. Actually most people really weren't. A few weren't entirely ecstatic, but they were hardly dying- they said so themselves. When she asked "what abut you, what are you doing to cope with all the stress of unemployment, isnt it awful?" I told her that since I've been unemployed, I've been less stressed than I have in the last three years, I'm sleeping decenty, I'm not ready to bite people's heads off every five seconds, I don't hate half the world anymore, and i'm getting things done finally that I WANT to get done...her reaction was a rather deflated "oh, well isn't that nice for you?" I mean, she sounded unhappy that I'm not unhappy. Yeah, for some people it IS really stressful...but don't assume, and please try to contain your disappointment that I'm not crying myself to sleep every night.

Another thing that wasn't too fun...but not the fault of the people in charge...was a few of the people in the class kept saying things about being discriminated against racially and then giving really pointed looks to the few white people in the class. Ummm...you know, I understand that things like that happen. But dude, I didn't cause you to lose your insurance job. I'm not causing you to not get other insurance jobs. I'm not the surrogate target for you to give dirty looks to.

And an extra-special surprise for us...Oh. My. Gawd! you're going to love this! Pepsi is going to be visiting tomorrow to take applications for warehouse workers isn't that great news??? No? Come on, that's exciting!!!!

*sigh* I hope they have some sort of comment/questionaire thing. With lots of room to write. If not, I might send in my own letter thanking them for wasting 12 hours of my life and demanding compensation.

Speaking of cmpensation...people who have to drive there have to pay upwards of $10 each day to park, plus gas for this "really helpful resource" that they've been ordered to attend. One wman was there who had been rescheduling hers since march and they finaly said that if she didn't go this time, she was going to have her unemployment cut off. A few others only got their summons yesterday or friday and were unable to get through to reschedule and had to cancel job interviews.

Seriously, this is just...ridiculous and insulting.

Courage: The Shortened Version

(yah, it's stil pretty long. maybe cut some more out tomorrow)

cour·age ( Pronunciation Key (kûrj, kr-) n.
The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.



There was, a few years ago, an urban legend circulating amongst college students of a philosophy class at an unnamed college, with a articularly eccentric professor. For the final exam if this class, he handed to each student a single sheet upon which was printed a single question: What is courage?

Legend has it that one student answered this question with an equally brief answer, two words simply stating: "This is." Legend so says that this student recieved the only A.

Such a stunt would certainly require a good deal of courage, however this student did not define courage, he acted as an example. Courage is taking action despite one's fears, anxieties or inhibitions. Greek mythology is littered with heros who performed great tasks...there is the story of Bellerophon, a young Corinthian prince who goes off in search of adventure. Proteus, a jealous companion wishes for the death of Bellerophon so he sends him to Iobates, the king of Lycia with a sealed letter that requests Bellerophon be killed. Lycia was plagued by the Chimera, a monster which woud attack the land, and retreat, taking with it women, children and livestock. As Bellerophon was a Corinthian prince, Iobates did not want to risk war by killing him outright. Instead he charged him with the task of killing the Chimera, thinking that Bellerophon could not possibly survive. But Belerophon did the unthinkable, slayed the Chimera and won the favor of the king, wedding his daughter and inheriting his throne when he died.

The ancients lauded acts of bravery and courage, and it is an admiration that is no less present in contemporary society. One of the most popular fictional characters today, Harry Potter, faces all manner of challenges, from dealing with a nasty, ill-tempered Uncle Vernon to a war with Lord Voldemort, the most powerful, evil wizard that ever lived. On a more serious note, our country, referred in song to the "land of the free and the home of the brave", is dotted with monuments to soldiers who have served and died in wars and battles. In many towns and cities, parades and other festivities are held on Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and other occasions to recognize the service of those in the armed forces, an occupation which, by its very natures requires courage of its people. In 2001, after the tragedy of September 11th, memorials and tributes were offered around the country- and around the world- to the victimms and survivors. Special attention was also paid to law enforcement officials, fire fighters, millitary personnel and to those who died while trying to stop the hijackers.

On a smaller scale, courage is shown by people every day- elementary school children standing up to playground bullies, office workers risking their jobs to face a tyrannical boss, homosexual men and women coming out to their family and friends, a small child sleeping without a night light for the first time...these are all events which require one to move through and beyond their fears and anxieties, despite the risks getting laughed at or beat up, losing a job, being shunned by one's family, being eaten by the closet monster.

During my senior year of high school, within the span of less than a week in late January or early February, I had to deal with my best friend dying of cancer, and the students in my school revolting over the resignation of a very popular principal in the midst of a scandal. I cannot have made a judgement on the character of the appointed principal pro tempore, however as the replacement for one who was one of the most well-liked and respected school administrators in anyone's memory, parents, students and teachers alike were all set against him. About a week after all this happened, during the school board's meeting to officially accept the resignation- which I attended- in the middle of students, parents, administrators and teachers coming to speak on his behalf, the mother of one of my classmates stood up and berated the new principal. She was angry with the fact that a school-wide announcement had not been made to alert students to the fact that my friend, Alex had passed away. Instead, three students had been dispatched to circulate among the classrooms of seniors and deliver the news. This angered her and she brought it to the greatest audience that she could, and this caught the emotion of many of those who were present.

As it happened, I was in line to speak just after this lady. What I had planned to say had nothing to do with the incident, we were only given a minute or two to speak, and each person was only allowed to speak once. I was still fresh in my grief, I was not prepared to even think about this incident, but it was forced upon me. I could have left wel enough alone, and allowed the crowd to be angry at this man, a complete stranger whom at that point, I had never even met but...it just wasn't true. I gave up my turn to speak for the man who had won the schools respect and liking, and my hopes that what I had to say, a speck in the masses of defense, would make a difference in the situation and on a second's notice, the only thing I could do was to defend a stranger whose only crime was that of being asked to take this place. It would have been easy to let this stack as further fuel for the prejudice. All I had to do was say what I planned to say in the first place. I had no idea how eople would react...but I was the one who would not allow an announcement to be made. Alex was my best friend, and she had said that she wouldn't want such a thing to happen. On the day that she died, I was in school. When the fact that school administrators wanted to make the annoucement by public address, I stopped it, and said that instead I and two others would go to classes and spread the appropriate information. The next week, when the excitement of scandal had died down somewhat, it was only after my agreement that a brief, quiet announcement was made to the school, and if people had a problem with it, they could take it up with me. I am still not sure why people took this so harshly as they did. I supose the shock of a student dying in the middle of such an aready tense and emotional time made reactions worse than normal...It was obvious that many people were upset by how things were handled, I could see it in some people's faces, but who would openly criticize me so soon after the fact, and for somehting they might have done themselves?

Often we find that when faced with a tough situation, we are able to act in a manner much more courageous than we previously thought possible, as I and countless others have found in small everyday situations such as the schoolyard bully, as well as under much more dire circumstances. It's just one more way that we are able to grow and learn.