Oct. 18th, 2008

badstar: (i'm a genius)
For anyone who might remember the nightmare I had shopping for jeans a few weeks ago...which resulted in me leaving the store tragically empty-handed but knowing what size I needed in the bizarro world of Lane Bryant jeans because the only ones that they had available at the time in the size, cut, color and length that I wanted were bell bottoms big enough to stick an elephant's foot through...

I went back to get a pair this weekend. This time they had the right combination- six red average boot cut in several shades of blue. Grabbed a pair and decided to try them on *just to be sure*.

Big mistake. Well, in a way. They didn't fit anymore. I guess I've lost weight- they were too big, too loose in the waist and legs, they just didn't fit right.

At first, it seemed like it was both the cut and the waist size...so I went to grab another pair in a size down and different cut...big mistake. I was intercepted. ....eeegh you know what, screw it. I don't feel like typing out the whole saga. It took about half an hour to get it straightened out because every time I or Gavin would try to get another pair of jeans from the shelf, the sales lady would practically throw herself in front of us to prevent us from getting in reaching distance of the precious precious jeans. OMG, the people in this store are insane. She kept insisting that we didn't know the sizing system (Well geez, what do you expect? It's a cryptic system of numbers, colors and shapes that the FBI probably couldn't crack. But we've got it figured out. Oh yes we do. Well, I know what I need anyway. For this week at least) and she knew better. Whatever happened to giving the customer what they ask for? (Seriously, I'm not talking about unreasonable entitlement here, I'm talking about a pair of jeans that fucking fit my body. Something that the store sells.) Finally, it turned out that I needed the same cut, just a size down. These fit me like the previous ones did. Yay. I have my first pair of new blue (I've bought brown and khaki colored jeans) since roughly 2000. I'm not kidding. I should have grabbed a couple more pairs, but uhg...they're expensive.

When I realized these fit me, I pulled them off and said "Let's get them now before these are too big for me too!" And quickly looked at a couple of shirts. Finding nothing that I wanted, I went to the register, only to find the ridiculously irritating chick from the lsat time who had insisted that I needed petite jeans in the wrong cut so big that they fell off me when I took my hands off the waistband. Turns out that annoying chick was none too bright. when she asked if I wanted to sign up for the mailing list (despite all the headache, I actually did. I've been on it before, they send really good coupons that I would use) so I gave her my email address and name...spelled the name out phonetically for her, when she showed me the screen to make sure the information was correct, it didn't even remotely resemble my name, I had to spell it out a couple more times for me. Then she forgot to give me my change and almost threw it in the bag. Then she handed me my change, but no bag. Then she forget to give me my receipt and had to go back to the counter where the bags were to get it for me. It was more than a little painful.

After that, stopping at Mandala, where the little Asian girls that work there are so happy to try and show you everything in the store and "Do you like this? Do you think this is cute? Do you want to try this on?" was a picnic. Hell, they only tried to show me one or two skirts, as if they somehow knew that I had just been through shopping hell. They had a bunch of new skirts there that I really liked, I tried the first one that caught my eye, it fit me like it should. I love wrap skirts, you just thread the tie through the loop and pull til it's as tight as it needs to be and tie it. If I lost fifty percent of my body weight they'd still fit me. (I'd be dead, but I could still wear them.) No mysterious sizing cryptograms. Why can't everything be so simple and elegant as that?

For anyone else who might be tempted to suggest that I try men's jeans...I've been there done that, can't do it. They're just not comfortable for me.

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