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Dec. 16th, 2008 10:55 pmOkay...so in reference to Sunday's posts, well, I knew it wasn't going to be easy to get this out of my system, but I didn't think it would come down quite as hard as it has.
It's not bothering me on a constant, can't stop it basis but it has been hitting me periodically. Unfortunately, this has been accompanied by the return of my need to run away. What's more, that part of it has effects that go beyond me. I think that might be the worst of it. When it's not at the immediate front of my mind, when it's not actively bothering me (as opposed to just thinking about it, like I am now) I'm okay. When it is, it feels like it's ripping me apart on several levels.
I called in to work last night and stayed home, worked on figuring out how I need to deal with this. A few things came up...though I'm not going to detail those. I also emailed the therapist. My next appointment isn't til after Christmas, but I'm supposed to talk to him tomorrow evening by phone.
The one change that I just made that I'll post here...I just made myself a new AIM account. My old name was partially from Alex, the ending digits were part of her phone number. My new AIM account name is PainandLight, though for the sake of not losing my buddy list, I will probably not switch over to that one permanently for at least a few days yet.
It's not bothering me on a constant, can't stop it basis but it has been hitting me periodically. Unfortunately, this has been accompanied by the return of my need to run away. What's more, that part of it has effects that go beyond me. I think that might be the worst of it. When it's not at the immediate front of my mind, when it's not actively bothering me (as opposed to just thinking about it, like I am now) I'm okay. When it is, it feels like it's ripping me apart on several levels.
I called in to work last night and stayed home, worked on figuring out how I need to deal with this. A few things came up...though I'm not going to detail those. I also emailed the therapist. My next appointment isn't til after Christmas, but I'm supposed to talk to him tomorrow evening by phone.
The one change that I just made that I'll post here...I just made myself a new AIM account. My old name was partially from Alex, the ending digits were part of her phone number. My new AIM account name is PainandLight, though for the sake of not losing my buddy list, I will probably not switch over to that one permanently for at least a few days yet.
