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[badstar]

At the grove, we have Walk With The Old Ones every Sunday during Rites Of Caffeina. For anyone not familiar, this is essentially our church service. It's a stripped-down version of ADF ritual, we don't usually open the gates, we don't invoke any deities, we make offerings, meditate and pray. Anyone can lead this, though it's usually Caryn, sometimes Deirdre or Kat.

For reasons that I can't figure out, I haven't been able to get myself to do this. I should, really. But I haven't. Yes, I'm convinced that I'll sound like an idiot.

General fear of speaking in public? No. And I have no problems getting up and leading a full ritual.

No wait, I lie. I did once. I kinda got put on the spot once last summer by Caryn. I think I sounded like an idiot.

I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that for me, religion is focused on the gods (and mostly on a few specific ones at that), and WWTOO drastically decentralizes that...I still feel very awkward making offerings to ancestors and nature spirits....actually, making offerings- feels kinda weird but not such a big deal. Speaking of it though, awkward.

Also, the Earth Mother part at the beginning....I do not see the Earth as "Mother". I can see where others might, but I just can't quite get it into my own beliefs. I've stopped trying because if I can't believe something, trying to make myself do so gets me nowhere.

Comments

[fuego.livejournal.com]

Earth as part of the life cycle makes perfect sense to me. I just don't see it as a mother-child relationship.

I don't know if you're on the ADF community here, but I made a post that hasn't been approved yet about this a little more specifically- I have no issue with honoring Earth. I fail to wrap my brain around Earth as mother.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

It sounds to me like you are trying quite hard to cram yourself into rituals that are not yours. I have a rather selfish view of religion - it's there to be right in your head, and if something you do feels wrong, it is good neither for you nor for your religion. And, in my not so humble opinion, trying to change what feels right in order to "fit in" with someone else's conception of worship is beyond wrong.

[pagandenma.livejournal.com]

Eh, if you're meant to do it, you will - and in your style and "flavor". Don't fret yourself to death over it.

It just works for me, because my spiritual mindset fits the ADF-style Druidic worldview (having been part of ADF before and then rejoined after being a Solitary for a while).