Can Someone Refer Me To A Surgeon To Have The Moron Magnets Removed?

[badstar]

Lady on bus: "Pretty necklaces."

Me: Thank you."

Lady: "What are they?"

Me: "Tangerine quartz crystal, the vial holds rhyolite, pink tourmaline, orange garnets and amethyst."

Lady: "Interesting."

Me: "Thank you."

Lady: "Do you practice crystalmancy?

Me: "Divination using crystals? No, I don't do that."

Lady: "Oh, so you know what that means. Well, you MUST know somethign about it. It's evil. You're a Satanist, aren't you?"

Me: "Oh, well it seems you know what the word means, you MUST know something about it. Are YOU a Satanist?"

Lady: "No, *I* am a CHRISTIAN. You obviously are not.

Me: "Wow, that's interesting. What if I told you that I belong to a church?"

Lady: "Really? You're kidding me."

Me: "No I'm not and yes, I belong to a church. I go every Sunday. I usually spend most of the day there."

Lady: "Oh, well...that's interesting."

Me: "Yes, thank you. God bless you, have a nice day."
And I put on my headphones.

I never said it was a Christian church.

WTF was that about?

I SWEAR I wasn't wearing the pentacle, I wasn't even wearing the flame. Just the two necklaces she commented on. Crystals. Stones. Pretty, sparkly things.

It's annoying (or sometimes amusing, but not always) enough that I can be minding my own business walking down the street, sitting on a bench reading a magazine, whatever and people just pounce because of a particular symbol dangling from my neck.

I'll have to give this one some credit. It took a LITTLE more thought. Crystalmancy? Huh. Wonder how long she was looking for a reason to use that word...heheheh.

But really, come on.

Comments

[bitchiekittie.livejournal.com]

I think her logic is hilarious.

[meapet.livejournal.com]

You are so going to Hell (cocktail party on Sundays at 11 :P)

Anyway, side note: Kitty has her doctor's appointment Wednesday morning at 11:45.

[dcnblus.livejournal.com]

Actually, technically, since The Lady believes in the existance of Satan (as any *good* Christian does), she is a Satanist. At least far more of one than you are!! As far as I'm concerned, Satan is just the last name of a hockey player...

I love Fundy Logic. Always so amusing.

Note to self: if stranger asks about a "-mancy" and is not wearing any outwardly pagan insignia, respond with dumb look and "what's that?"

[tecie.livejournal.com]

I love the comeback.

[liritsvoice.livejournal.com]

sorry, hon, the moron magnets are permanant. its because you rock and lesser creatures are drawn to your brilliance like dumb little moths towards a bright, shiney flame. you *are* a fiery one, after all. :-D

i love your wordplay (i used the same sorts of tricks myself when i was trying to keep my parents in the dark, hehe). eh, some people need a life. but since they insist on being ignorant and arrogant, its kind of you to clue them in. give em what for!!

[liritsvoice.livejournal.com]

jewish and pagan goes together like peanut butter and jelly!!

[fuego.livejournal.com]

I bet I spend more time in church than she does... :-P

[brcmapgirl.livejournal.com]

You know. I have a far more malicious streak than your other friends do, and I'm a snarky little Christian.

My suggestion? Chat her up, find out what weird little cult of a church she attends and then I suggest we picket it, or take it over one Sunday. That would be highly amusing if we all showed up in our Burner, post-Saturday night worst.

Would serve them right. 'But we came just to hear the Word of the Lord? IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT?'

You know, I bet she doesn't even go to church. I bet she watches that a$$hat Pat Robertson on The 700 Club on TV. Yet another reason why I don't own an idiotbox.

[sherarara.livejournal.com]

s/jewish/christian/

*wink*

[fuego.livejournal.com]

never saw her before, probaby never saw her again.

but...your ideas amuse me. you are quite malicious ;-)

[liritsvoice.livejournal.com]

lol, merci :-D

[liritsvoice.livejournal.com]

eh, one thing i've learned is that there are idiots everywhere. even in church. but just because she's an idiot doesnt necessarily mean her whole church is bad. you might go, be welcomed with open arms, and have a rockin good time listening to guitars and drums!!!! funky, welcoming churches abound!! (i've been to some pretty awesome churches that had a few bad apples. people will be people, after all.)

tho your robertson theory sounds most plausible ;-)

[thedalikiss.livejournal.com]

just think about it this way... either way you look at it, "jewish american princess" or "jewish american pagan" we're still j.a.p.'s

:-D

[thedalikiss.livejournal.com]

you really do need to have the moron magnet removed... this stuff just keeps happening to you. -hugs- but don't worry, i'm sure heaven is boring and all your friends'll be in hell waiting. we'll have a big old party. :)

[seaya.livejournal.com]

Welcoming doesn't necessarily mean good!

Ever hear of lovebombing?

[fuego.livejournal.com]

lovebombing?

[seaya.livejournal.com]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_bombing

[fuego.livejournal.com]

ah, yes ok...i know what you mean now...uhg