Great Flaming Ponies!

Playa Del Fuego! Woohoo! Rock On!

Hightlights...

-Fire
-Being there
-Fire
-Jon's Pancakes
-Random Stranger Hugs
-Fire
-Finally getting Tanner there after trying for 3 burns...
-Fire
-Gir and Maya's grilled cheese sammiches (Grilled tomato and mozerella= yummy)
-Falling asleep in Dome Sweet Dome after wandering around aimlessly for what felt like hours trying to find my sleeping bag and not having a tent
-The amazing sunset Saturday night that looked like the sky was on fire and later on, looking up just in time to see a shooting star streak across the moon
-Fire
-Meeting moonwatcher in person
-finding my pentacle when I lost it and was afraid it was gone for good
-Jello Wrestling! Lap Dance Auction! Karaoke!
-Everyone loving my chocolate-mint brownies (They're special but they're not THAT kind of special.)
-Dancing around the fire with all the drummers
-Did I mention there might have been a bit of fire there?

The one not-so-cool happening came Saturday night well after dark...Blue told me he liked my necklace, I put my hand up to my throat and asked which one (I was wearing 3 or 4 at the time) and I realized that my pentacle was missing. To which I responded by going into a bit of a panic (but not a panic atack...just a frantic searching around for it). Needless to say, I was incredibly upset. After 20 some odd minutes of running around looking at the ground as best as I could where I thought I might have dropped it, I resigned myself to waiting til daylight to look more...but asked whoever I ran into to keep an eye out for it. I wandered over towards Camp Hon and while talking to the resident burners, noticed somethign shiny on the ground...a light pointed straight on it. Yes it was. I must remind myself...it's an object, a piece of jewelery. I don't like clinging to objects, and I cling hard to this one.

Tuesday I went back to work...from Tuesday morning to sometime last night, I was fighting a tension headache and holding off a panic attack. I don't know what that was about. Maybe work getting to me? Kathleen suggested I might have just crashed hard after the weekend. Whatever it was, it was really unpleasant. Both the headache and oncoming attack vanished last night around 930 or 10. I was really afriad that I was fighting a losing battle with the attack.

For about 2 years, I've been thinking about looking into some kinda of counseling to see if that helps me work through some of my issues. When I was seeing the school psychologist in 96-97, it helped with a lot of things then. My main hurdle there has been no money, no insurance so I'm putting that on my list of things to do as soon as I'm able. What I'm starting to worry about is that I seem to be having these panic attacks more frequently...before this year, it was once a year, maybe twice. I've had 4 so far this year, plus the one I fought off.

I'm really missing Full Circle lately. I miss the monthly full moon rituals, I miss the people. I should email the list and say hi. It's been far too long since I've done that. I'm waffling back and forth between wanting some loosely-structured ritual with others on a regular basis...and not needing it. I might start trying to contact groups in the Baltimore area again. I don't know.

I should eat something. I've been awake since about 11 and haven't eaten yet. Guess it's time to make a run to Mars. It's a beautiful day to boot.

Enough heavy pondering for now. More of that later.