(no subject)

At the grove, we have Walk With The Old Ones every Sunday during Rites Of Caffeina. For anyone not familiar, this is essentially our church service. It's a stripped-down version of ADF ritual, we don't usually open the gates, we don't invoke any deities, we make offerings, meditate and pray. Anyone can lead this, though it's usually Caryn, sometimes Deirdre or Kat.

For reasons that I can't figure out, I haven't been able to get myself to do this. I should, really. But I haven't. Yes, I'm convinced that I'll sound like an idiot.

General fear of speaking in public? No. And I have no problems getting up and leading a full ritual.

No wait, I lie. I did once. I kinda got put on the spot once last summer by Caryn. I think I sounded like an idiot.

I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that for me, religion is focused on the gods (and mostly on a few specific ones at that), and WWTOO drastically decentralizes that...I still feel very awkward making offerings to ancestors and nature spirits....actually, making offerings- feels kinda weird but not such a big deal. Speaking of it though, awkward.

Also, the Earth Mother part at the beginning....I do not see the Earth as "Mother". I can see where others might, but I just can't quite get it into my own beliefs. I've stopped trying because if I can't believe something, trying to make myself do so gets me nowhere.

(no subject)

I just watched the movie Oldboy.

Severely fucked up movie. chironcentaur and Dominic have been wanting me to watch it for oh, ever now.

I figured it out about halfway through, though I didn't quite believe it til it came out at the end- but I never thought that I was absolutely dead wrong.

liritsvoice had the same thought.

This particularly amuses me because Dominic keeps saying that he never wants to meet the person that is able to figure it out before the end.