(no subject)

One of the things that came up last week when I was in PA (came up in my mind anyway, and has been coming up now and then and I keep talking about it) is that I can't work in tech support forever. And then I went and visited a gallery owned in part by one of my former art teachers, and I just wanted to cry. Because my work wasn't on those walls. Or on any walls. And I can only blame myself for not producing any work to put on any walls.

I need to stop talking about this and do something. (Yeah, how many times have I said that?)

The fact is that all of my high school art teachers as well as the professors of the painting and photography classes that I took in college said that I have talent. Once upon a time in 2001 someone saw my photography and considered it good enough to show my work exclusively on their café walls for a couple of months. On September 11th 2001, I sold one of my photographs- to the owner of the largest art gallery in Lancaster who then invited me to show more of my work in her gallery during Artwalk. In high school I won a couple of awards for painting and photography. During my junior year of high school, I had a portfolio review at the MICA and was told that I would have a decent chance of being accepted (I never applied. Early in my senior year, Maryland was suddenly far too close to Pennsylvania and I didn't apply anywhere closer than Vanderbilt.) The fact is, whatever talent I have, I'm wasting it.

I'd like to avoid the starving artist cliché, and supplies cost money. Since I realized earlier in the summer that I would not be able to start taking any college classes til the spring, I started pondering what the hell I was going to do. Well...I'm going to get my CVE certification through work at some point this fall or early winter. I'm going to start taking some colelge classes. I have no idea what I'm going to study, but since I'm not going to be going full-time, it's going to take me longer. I'll start with the foundation classes and figure out a course of study and get educated in somethign that I don't entirely hate that will allow me to continue to pay rent, buy groceries and supplies, and I'm just going to have to start painting. It's really all there is to it. And I need to stop talking about it and just do it. I did go out and get the sketchbook and some drawing pencils and stuff back in the spring...I know they're around somewhere in a box. That's a beginning. I have some definite ideas in my head that I want to paint. (I was trying to draw one out when I bought the sketchbook)

I'll figure it out, somehow....

(no subject)

I'm gonna call up Dave this week and make an appointment to get some tattoo work done.

But I can't decide...do I get more work on the tree, or pause that for a short time and get something else...specifically, a sunflower? I may have posted about this before...back in high school, both Alex and I wanted sunflower tattoos- it wasn't like "hey, wouldn't it be cool if we had matching sunflower tattoos" or anything barf-inducing like that. It was one day the subject of tattoos came up and in the middle of that, we both said at the exact same time that we wanted a tattoo of a sunflower. (People used to complain that talking to the two of us atthe same time was impossible. We both constantly talked around and over each other and frequently said the same thign at the same time.) I eventually dropped the idea because other than being my favorite flowers at the time, sunflowers didn't have such great significance to me that I'd want one permanently etched into my flesh. But I've been seriously thinking about getting a small sunflower done on her birthday, which is on the 18th.

Since I would only want a small, simple sunflower, one other option would be to have that done, and then have him work on the tree for the remainder of the appointment.

I've got time to think. A few days, at least.

(no subject)

To Eos, Goddess of the Dawn:

I begin my song to Eos, yellow-robed bringer of the first light who dispels the darkness as you ascend the sky from the river Okheanos. Immortal Bright One, Mother of the four winds, early-rising and radiant goddess grant your new-born light to the Earth and honor to my song!

To you, brilliant goddess of the heavens borne on golden wings, hail! Morning has come and I will remember you and another song as well.



To Hypnos and Morpheus:

Begin, lovely Muse to sing of Hypnos who dwells beyond the gates of dawn, bearer of the opium poppy who grants rest to mortals. And to Morpheus, shaper of dreams who brings messages in sleep.

To you, winged sons of Night, I pray be generous with your blessings!

(Yeah, there's more of 'em...)

Random Craving.

More than anything right now, I really want a shrimp salad sandwich.