(no subject)
Dec. 3rd, 2006 08:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badstarI have a breakpoint, it just takes a lot more to get to it than almost anyone I know. And sometimes it feels like I'm there...and then the fuse just stops sparking.
A few hours ago, there was a LOT going on in my mind that was really getting to me and upsetting me. I was about to snap at someone and instead I went out and walked around Mt Vernon for an hour and I came back, and stomped around a bit (well, as much as I ever "stomp") and I spent a couple of hours knitting a scarf and forcing myself not to bawl my eyes out, and then suddenly, it wasn't that everything was great and okay, but I couldn't figure out why things were getting to me on the level that they were. The things that upset me still are on my mind, and grating on my nerves a bit, but I'm not going to bite anyone's head off. It's not the end of the world. I know I haven't done anything wrong, I'll be ok.
Sometimes when this happens though, I feel kinda let down that I didn't actually lsoe it. I mean, sometimes I *want* to. Because I never do. When the fuse is a mile long and hard to light to begin with, things just never get to that point. (Or if they do, I have no choice but to use my better judgement, like at work, where I almost lit into someone the other day, but instead I put them on hold and made someone else deal with it because I promise you, I'd have lost my job otherwise.)
A few hours ago, there was a LOT going on in my mind that was really getting to me and upsetting me. I was about to snap at someone and instead I went out and walked around Mt Vernon for an hour and I came back, and stomped around a bit (well, as much as I ever "stomp") and I spent a couple of hours knitting a scarf and forcing myself not to bawl my eyes out, and then suddenly, it wasn't that everything was great and okay, but I couldn't figure out why things were getting to me on the level that they were. The things that upset me still are on my mind, and grating on my nerves a bit, but I'm not going to bite anyone's head off. It's not the end of the world. I know I haven't done anything wrong, I'll be ok.
Sometimes when this happens though, I feel kinda let down that I didn't actually lsoe it. I mean, sometimes I *want* to. Because I never do. When the fuse is a mile long and hard to light to begin with, things just never get to that point. (Or if they do, I have no choice but to use my better judgement, like at work, where I almost lit into someone the other day, but instead I put them on hold and made someone else deal with it because I promise you, I'd have lost my job otherwise.)
