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Apr. 29th, 2007 07:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badstarI haven't had a panic attack in...well, let's see, I nearly had one at Samhain this past fall. Before that, it had been a bit over a year.
I should know better not to go out walking around- even just a short distance- when a lot of thigns are getting to me at once. I get upset. Then the butterflies in the stomach thing. And I keep thinking, and the butterflies become giant cecropia moths. And then I feel like a giant hand is squeezing my stomach, and then a larger hand is squeezing my entire torso. And that's about the point where at any given second, I start hyperventilating, or become unable to speak, or both. Fighting it makes it worse. At this point, I can hope it passes, or take in some caffeine in attempts to calm me. (Warding off a panic attack, or having a migraine that has reduced my functionality to nil are the only times when I will ever say - and sincerely mean- that I *need* coffee. I don't know how on earth it is that it calms a panic attack. But it does.)
I needed something to eat and didn't feel like cooking, so I went down to XS and grabbed a chicken wrap and some Vietnamese spring rolls. When walking alone, there's not much I can do to distract myself from my own thoughts. By the time I got back, I was at the giant hand squeezing my entire torso point. Having eaten not much today, it didn't help any. Luckily though, I wasn't shaky like I was last night. I came in and immediately grabbed a can of coffee beans from the freezer, then popped a handful in my mouth and ate them. Steph was making dinner and needed the immediate space, so I had to wait a minute or two before I could actually make the coffee. But munching on the coffee beans definitely helped. I've eaten my sandwich and spring rolls, and am drinking coffee. I am calm now, though things are still bothering me.
I talked to my mom just after I got home. She never asked Mike if he could come and pick me up on Friday. He was taking a nap, so she's going to let me know later.
I talked to Chelle. The seamstress said that if I don't get there by Saturday, there's no way she can get the dress finished in time for the wedding. Which of course, she's putting it on me.
I talked to Jon a while ago. Well, I didn't know it but last week, Kathy had a pulmonary embolism. Luckily she got to the hospital and now they have her on some blood thinners. She's home, but on bed rest for at least a week and will have to be careful of certain things permanently. I don't know if I'll be able to, but I'll have to try and see if I can stop and see her next weekend.
On top of that, it's just been a rather crazy weekend. Methinks I'll be taking a shower before to long and going to bed.
I should know better not to go out walking around- even just a short distance- when a lot of thigns are getting to me at once. I get upset. Then the butterflies in the stomach thing. And I keep thinking, and the butterflies become giant cecropia moths. And then I feel like a giant hand is squeezing my stomach, and then a larger hand is squeezing my entire torso. And that's about the point where at any given second, I start hyperventilating, or become unable to speak, or both. Fighting it makes it worse. At this point, I can hope it passes, or take in some caffeine in attempts to calm me. (Warding off a panic attack, or having a migraine that has reduced my functionality to nil are the only times when I will ever say - and sincerely mean- that I *need* coffee. I don't know how on earth it is that it calms a panic attack. But it does.)
I needed something to eat and didn't feel like cooking, so I went down to XS and grabbed a chicken wrap and some Vietnamese spring rolls. When walking alone, there's not much I can do to distract myself from my own thoughts. By the time I got back, I was at the giant hand squeezing my entire torso point. Having eaten not much today, it didn't help any. Luckily though, I wasn't shaky like I was last night. I came in and immediately grabbed a can of coffee beans from the freezer, then popped a handful in my mouth and ate them. Steph was making dinner and needed the immediate space, so I had to wait a minute or two before I could actually make the coffee. But munching on the coffee beans definitely helped. I've eaten my sandwich and spring rolls, and am drinking coffee. I am calm now, though things are still bothering me.
I talked to my mom just after I got home. She never asked Mike if he could come and pick me up on Friday. He was taking a nap, so she's going to let me know later.
I talked to Chelle. The seamstress said that if I don't get there by Saturday, there's no way she can get the dress finished in time for the wedding. Which of course, she's putting it on me.
I talked to Jon a while ago. Well, I didn't know it but last week, Kathy had a pulmonary embolism. Luckily she got to the hospital and now they have her on some blood thinners. She's home, but on bed rest for at least a week and will have to be careful of certain things permanently. I don't know if I'll be able to, but I'll have to try and see if I can stop and see her next weekend.
On top of that, it's just been a rather crazy weekend. Methinks I'll be taking a shower before to long and going to bed.
