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Nov. 5th, 2007 01:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badstarSoemmone in e forum in Lancaster PA:
I have heard this many times: Many who have had difficult and unresolved relationships with their earthly father, also have a huge difficulty with the idea of a Heavenly Father or male deity.
My response (or what it boiled down to, it was actually a good bit longer):
My relationship with my father is severely lacking. But I have no problem with the idea of male divinity or deity....I worship several of them.
Speaking of male divinity...
So for the last few nights I've been having these dreams that are perfectly normal and commonplace, even boring. Except for one thing...all through these dreams, there are grapevines twined around my wrists- not tying me to anything or binding them together, and only tight enough that they stay wrapped there.
I feel like I'm being constantly reminded of his presence...and the fact that whatever's going on, it seems that I have no say in the matter whatsoever. There seems to be no challenge, no demand, no wanting of anything. Just a hovering presence and maybe some sort of observation- but I'm not even sure about that.
Last night after coming home, I did my normal Saturday night ritual that I've sort of fallen into, and on top of that, made offerings of wine to both Apollo and Dionysus, the laid down to sleep. Just as I was drifting off, this popped into my head and I scribbled it down by the light of my cell phone screen...
Wine pulsates through my veins
only sips, but in your presence
spread like a fire
and mix with inhaled heavy incense smoke
dizzying disorienting
your appearance lucid and aloof
unreasonably civilized
I watch and wait
constantly aware, grapevine wraps my wrists
tight and cutting to hold
or loosely to remind
you are there, control
is yours
and I am wondering
what I'm waiting for
and what you're up to
behind your eyes
void of expression.
On an interesting other note, wandering in and out of the seers guild meeting at the grove today (It was hot inside, my face was burning, I had to keep going outside and coming back in) I found myself coming up with, out of the blue, a pretty darned viable interpretation of the ritual omen from last night.
Keep in mind, I was not present during any part of the ritual. And the omen was ogham. I know nothing about ogham. There was a little discussion about the specific trees pulled- yew, ivy, hazel, and from the discussion of these trees and the structure of how the omens wee pulled and which was what part of the issue, it just all crystalized in my mind. It wasn't the only possible interpretation, but it was definitely one. I've never been too interested in ogham, but I realized at that point that I could probably learn...a lot of it would have to do with learning about the background and properties and specific information on each tree...and old lore- folk uses and the such. Somehow it just seemed to make sense to me.
Though, if I did that, I might instead try to devise my own tree-based system, I don't know but I don't feel entirely comfortable with trying to use something that has a Celtic root (no pun intended) when I have no cultural connection otherwise and seem to even face some degree of hostility from that direction.
But I also definitely want to start working more with the Greek Alphabet Oracle, and start looking at the Homeric Oracle, as well as picking back up with what little I have done with runes so far.
I have heard this many times: Many who have had difficult and unresolved relationships with their earthly father, also have a huge difficulty with the idea of a Heavenly Father or male deity.
My response (or what it boiled down to, it was actually a good bit longer):
My relationship with my father is severely lacking. But I have no problem with the idea of male divinity or deity....I worship several of them.
Speaking of male divinity...
So for the last few nights I've been having these dreams that are perfectly normal and commonplace, even boring. Except for one thing...all through these dreams, there are grapevines twined around my wrists- not tying me to anything or binding them together, and only tight enough that they stay wrapped there.
I feel like I'm being constantly reminded of his presence...and the fact that whatever's going on, it seems that I have no say in the matter whatsoever. There seems to be no challenge, no demand, no wanting of anything. Just a hovering presence and maybe some sort of observation- but I'm not even sure about that.
Last night after coming home, I did my normal Saturday night ritual that I've sort of fallen into, and on top of that, made offerings of wine to both Apollo and Dionysus, the laid down to sleep. Just as I was drifting off, this popped into my head and I scribbled it down by the light of my cell phone screen...
Wine pulsates through my veins
only sips, but in your presence
spread like a fire
and mix with inhaled heavy incense smoke
dizzying disorienting
your appearance lucid and aloof
unreasonably civilized
I watch and wait
constantly aware, grapevine wraps my wrists
tight and cutting to hold
or loosely to remind
you are there, control
is yours
and I am wondering
what I'm waiting for
and what you're up to
behind your eyes
void of expression.
On an interesting other note, wandering in and out of the seers guild meeting at the grove today (It was hot inside, my face was burning, I had to keep going outside and coming back in) I found myself coming up with, out of the blue, a pretty darned viable interpretation of the ritual omen from last night.
Keep in mind, I was not present during any part of the ritual. And the omen was ogham. I know nothing about ogham. There was a little discussion about the specific trees pulled- yew, ivy, hazel, and from the discussion of these trees and the structure of how the omens wee pulled and which was what part of the issue, it just all crystalized in my mind. It wasn't the only possible interpretation, but it was definitely one. I've never been too interested in ogham, but I realized at that point that I could probably learn...a lot of it would have to do with learning about the background and properties and specific information on each tree...and old lore- folk uses and the such. Somehow it just seemed to make sense to me.
Though, if I did that, I might instead try to devise my own tree-based system, I don't know but I don't feel entirely comfortable with trying to use something that has a Celtic root (no pun intended) when I have no cultural connection otherwise and seem to even face some degree of hostility from that direction.
But I also definitely want to start working more with the Greek Alphabet Oracle, and start looking at the Homeric Oracle, as well as picking back up with what little I have done with runes so far.
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Date: 2012-02-17 12:15 am (UTC)