(no subject)

[badstar]

Arg. Why do I feel panicky? After I left the grove this afternoon, on the way home, my mood just went downhill and I started feeling a great deal of anxiety and self doubt. Usually when I'm feeling doubtful like that, I can point to any number of things and say "Yeah, I'm definitely unsure of *insert list of things here*. This time...I couldn't say anything for sure, not even "everything". I just felt doubtful about nothing in particular. And all kinds of seemingly sourceless anxiety.

shortly after I got home, I felt fine. Now...I'm not really feeling the doubt at the moment, but I'm getting the anxiety about double from what it was earlier. I feel like a fist is squeezing my stomach, and like I'm not quite breathing enough, and the only way to relieve it is to take a very sharp, deep breath...but it feels like I'm closer to beginning to hyperventilate when I do.

Maybe I should take a nap. Maybe that'll help get whatever it is out of my mind.