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badstarYou know what sucks about having a good weekend?
Mondays.
I'm back to work. Back to boredom. Back to...everything.
But not entirely. I realized at some point earlier, I'm very distracted.
It's not just that I'm sad about Mama Edna. - I am, but honestly, that's not really distracting me. I'm not feeling particularly depressed at the moment, or like I want to cry my eyes out because of how much work is sucking. I'm not feeling at the moment like everything is desperately wrong in my life and that I need to run away. I'm not feeling like I need to get out of my own head to escape my thoughts. Hell, I don't need to question that it's my own head I'm in. Dammit, right now, there's no question that it IS my head I'm in.
No, there are a whole bunch of nebulous things that I can't really sum up neatly...and then there are a couple of larger things that I could...but won't. (Please, don't ask. There are some things that I'm simply not willing to put out there right now.) Suffice it to say that for once, there are actually things not completely tied to religion going on in my brain. There's one of these things that, for some time now has been in the back of my mind...and then something brings it to the front. And after a short time, I push it back, and then something else happens that brings it back again, lather, rinse repeat. And then some other things too.
This time, right now...I actually want time alone with my thoughts, I don't want to be distracted from them for once. And I don't really have time for another several days. Not without having to worry about processing a bajillion emails anyway. But I don't get that til Friday. Unless I want to cut into my sleep time to sit and ponder my situation, and that brings me up to Wednesday, since my sleep time gets cut short by a couple of hours tomorrow, er, today, for an appointment.
Well...I guess that's what this Friday will be. Time alone with my thoughts.
Mondays.
I'm back to work. Back to boredom. Back to...everything.
But not entirely. I realized at some point earlier, I'm very distracted.
It's not just that I'm sad about Mama Edna. - I am, but honestly, that's not really distracting me. I'm not feeling particularly depressed at the moment, or like I want to cry my eyes out because of how much work is sucking. I'm not feeling at the moment like everything is desperately wrong in my life and that I need to run away. I'm not feeling like I need to get out of my own head to escape my thoughts. Hell, I don't need to question that it's my own head I'm in. Dammit, right now, there's no question that it IS my head I'm in.
No, there are a whole bunch of nebulous things that I can't really sum up neatly...and then there are a couple of larger things that I could...but won't. (Please, don't ask. There are some things that I'm simply not willing to put out there right now.) Suffice it to say that for once, there are actually things not completely tied to religion going on in my brain. There's one of these things that, for some time now has been in the back of my mind...and then something brings it to the front. And after a short time, I push it back, and then something else happens that brings it back again, lather, rinse repeat. And then some other things too.
This time, right now...I actually want time alone with my thoughts, I don't want to be distracted from them for once. And I don't really have time for another several days. Not without having to worry about processing a bajillion emails anyway. But I don't get that til Friday. Unless I want to cut into my sleep time to sit and ponder my situation, and that brings me up to Wednesday, since my sleep time gets cut short by a couple of hours tomorrow, er, today, for an appointment.
Well...I guess that's what this Friday will be. Time alone with my thoughts.
