Not so much emo-kid for once. But kinda angsty a little maybe.

[badstar]

You know what sucks about having a good weekend?

Mondays.

I'm back to work. Back to boredom. Back to...everything.

But not entirely. I realized at some point earlier, I'm very distracted.

It's not just that I'm sad about Mama Edna. - I am, but honestly, that's not really distracting me. I'm not feeling particularly depressed at the moment, or like I want to cry my eyes out because of how much work is sucking. I'm not feeling at the moment like everything is desperately wrong in my life and that I need to run away. I'm not feeling like I need to get out of my own head to escape my thoughts. Hell, I don't need to question that it's my own head I'm in. Dammit, right now, there's no question that it IS my head I'm in.

No, there are a whole bunch of nebulous things that I can't really sum up neatly...and then there are a couple of larger things that I could...but won't. (Please, don't ask. There are some things that I'm simply not willing to put out there right now.) Suffice it to say that for once, there are actually things not completely tied to religion going on in my brain. There's one of these things that, for some time now has been in the back of my mind...and then something brings it to the front. And after a short time, I push it back, and then something else happens that brings it back again, lather, rinse repeat. And then some other things too.

This time, right now...I actually want time alone with my thoughts, I don't want to be distracted from them for once. And I don't really have time for another several days. Not without having to worry about processing a bajillion emails anyway. But I don't get that til Friday. Unless I want to cut into my sleep time to sit and ponder my situation, and that brings me up to Wednesday, since my sleep time gets cut short by a couple of hours tomorrow, er, today, for an appointment.

Well...I guess that's what this Friday will be. Time alone with my thoughts.

Comments

[unprotoize.livejournal.com]

Oh jeez hon I'm sorry it's so sucking for you right now. I hate stressful jobs. The best I can offer is to try to get out of there as soon as you can, and if you have to stay a while at least try not to worry about it when you're not there. When you have to go in, deal with it but in your off hours think about it as little as possible and take care of yourself as best you can. Get adequate sleep, eat healthy foods, do some aromatherapy, get some energy healing, lie in bed and read. Take a few days off if you can. It seems like they're leaning on you pretty hard with the all night hours and overtime.

I'm just getting over a cold - seems like everybody's getting either that or a spring allergy right now. Same with people's mental health lately, seems like everybody's going nuts lately and even I caught it for a spell.
Anyway I'm going to try to beat this insomnia bout I seem to be suffering from. Take care hon :)

[fuego.livejournal.com]

The overtime is totally by choice- I don't have to do it, but while it's here, much as I hate it, I'm using it to my advantage. The night schedule is mine by choice too (low stupidity, four day weekends and a shift differential)

Rumor has it they just hired six new people primarily to deal with the email crap, so hopefully in a week or two that weight will be greatly reduced. in the meantime, they're just pushing us to crank them out- that's the thign that really sucks at the moment, and it's not really stressful, it's soul-suckingly boring, which is rather horrorific in its own special way :-P

Once Thursday night rolls around, I don't go back to work til Tuesday (taking an extra day on my weekend this coming week) so that will be nice.

Give me ten minutes and I'm sure something will change, but for the moment, all I really need is some time to disappear into my brain.

Hope you feel better soon and get some sleep!