Nov. 1st, 2003

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Work sucks...hours were cut WAY back and I haven't worked since Tuesday. I work tonight AND AGAIN TOMTOORW MORING. What's up with that that I have to close and turn around and run right back in first thing in the morning. I oh-so-nicely asked Anthony to NO DO THAT again saying somethign like "It's not enough time for me to go home, unwind, get a proper night's rest and come back and be a good employee in the morning. It's not fair to me or to the company." (Yeah, isn't that nice?) So he said he'd try to remember to not do it again. Employee satisfaction survey out this week. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

So in the middle of me being all upset yesterday about work and work-related stuff...my the string on my pentacle snapped. I got a bra full of beads. Put it on a cord without beads.

I was all set to stay at home and be antisocial last night, which at the time I felt like doing...but Tanner IMed and asked if I wanted to go wandering around the city for a while. So we spent a few hours doing that. Went to the train station (very cool place), stopped by Edgar Allen Poe's grave (I can say I've seen it now), stood in the middle of the costumed crowd at the Power Plant and commented on their costumes and stuff, and sat down by the harbor for a while talking about stuff. Time well spent wandering semi-aimlessly discussing the bizare intricacies of our lives

Oh yeah and I made brownies yesterday.

I work today at 3. I have a tension headache. I hate those.

Talked to mom for a while yesterday evening. Mostly about somethign that I'm not really sure exactly how to aproach. But also....the night before last, I was hit with this very sudden stomach-clenching, ready to fall off my chair I think I'm going to throw up feeling. All I knew was that somehting was going wrong back in PA and no one was answering phones at the time. Mom tells me last night that at about that time in the evening, my grandmother freaked out and tried to attack my sister. My brother was able to keep her away long enough that Chelle could leave the room, grab Samantha and leave. What prompted this? Apparently her boyfriend came into the house and didn't say "hello" right at the exact instant he walked in. So he's a disrespectful asshole and this warranted trying to physically attack Chelle. My mom tlls me that the doctor put her on Welbutrin a while back but she refuses to take it.

More and more my grandfather's death takes it's toll on my grandmother who left her parents' house when she married him, and depended on him totally and completely. She doesn't know how to function independently. My grandmother is losing her mind.
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There are times that I seriously consider giving up certain abilities that I have. Today was one of those days.

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