Therapeutic Letter Writing

Dear Mike,

Seeing as you've known me for almost 21 years now, It's safe to say you should have a fairly good clue as to the fact that there are a few things that irk the snot out of me.
When you came down here this evening, not only did you come down here on a lie, but you dragged someone else into it. this put me in a very uncomfortable position as to just how to deal with it. You proceeded to mock every major aspect of my life. And on top of all that you were just plain annoying.
Next time this happens, I will not make dinner for you and your friend. I will not fix things. I will not make nice. I will feel bad for your friend, but you will be 100% responsible, and you will be asked to leave. However, since I don't plan for you coming backhere any time soon, I am not worried about that.

And don't expect to be invited to any parties here anytime soon.



Dear James,

Generally, I think you're a very cool person. Fun to talk to when you're around and all that jazz. But when you make snide comments about dishwater, and I tell you that I'm in a very bad mood, that I will take care of the dishes before I sleep and please do not bother me about them, I would REALLY appreciate if you did not proceed to talk on about how you shouldn't have to remind someone to do dishes, that we're all adults here, etc. Those dishes are a few hours old, the dishwater is even less old. Seeing as there is dishwater there, I obviously started making the effort to wash those dishes. Bite me.



Dear Whoever's In Charge Of Payroll And Hours At Work,

Die. Bitch.


Umkay, thanks.
Collective Love And Fucking Sunshine To All Of You,

Renee.


Wow...I fee better aready.