(no subject)

Forgot about this in all the, er, excitement.

Do y'all know what my damned cat did to me today?

Of course you don't.

Around 3 this afternoon, I woke up. Left my room to use the bathroom and when I came back out, Ferarri was sitting in front of my door just waiting to rush in. I let her in, she hasn't slept in my room lately.

So often, if I'm laying on my side, she'll hop up and lay down on my hip. did that today. After a while, I couldn't fall back to sleep in that position, so I rolled over on my stomach- I've developed the skill of doing so in a way that the cat doesn't fall off of me, and she usually just lays on the small of my back then.

She did that for a couple of minutes today. Then she got up and pranced around a bit, licked my face and arm, poked at me with her face, then jumped on the back of my neck, and sorta flopped so that all her weight landed on the base of my skull- she would have laid there, but I wasn't going to let her. She repeatedly tried to suffocate me by laying against my face in ways that rendered me unable to breathe anything but cat fur- much as I'm sure she'd love it, I still can't breathe cat fur, I still require air.

Finally, she got up, poked her nose in my face one more time, then started sniffing at my eye. Next thing you know, there are teeth on my eyelid, and teeth about to find themselves under my eyelid on my eyeball.

My cat bit me in the eye. She almost got my eyeball. I keep forgetting why I never let her sleep with me during the day (She never does any of this at night, usually just finds a spot down by my feet and stays there til I get up in the morning- that is, after sitting on the window sill for a while waiting for the perfect opportunity to jump down on me, landing square on my sternum.

SO...I screamed. She just looked at me and meowed in a sort of questioning way- because it's a sign of love when a cat's fangs puncture your cornea, right? And picked her up and deposited her outside my door.

That just wasn't cool.

And I never got back to sleep.

Hmmmmm....

At the suggestion of a few folks, I've taken a look at ADF's initiates program.

I said last night that I was planning to continue work on certain parts of the CTP, which were still relevant to me- all of these parts are included in the initiates program, and none of the parts that are not relevant. (And if anything were to change later, the work still applies to the CTP.)

I'm seriously considering that now. This is the subject matter that I am still sure that I need to be working on, and I still do like the way it's structured.

Yes, to a certain extent, I'm still hanging on to this. But I don't feel like I'm desperately clinging to something extraneous or detrimental because it's familiar. I'm reasonably sure that I'm looking at a vehicle for what I wanted/needed to be doing all along. There will always be imperfect details of course, but there are no whole sections that I'm looking at and going "WTF???" about.


This makes some sense.

And I can give up trying to read Walden. (Wait, what if this was all just a major ploy to quit trying to read that damned book????)