badstar

If things have gotta change,
well that's cool with me,
we'll just light the fuse and then get away,
hell yeah...

Things are just...happening lately. In addition to losing my job back in August, and being just a step ahead of the mass pagan exodus in the last week or so when I left the grove last month, I am now going to be leaving Neos Alexandria and Neokoroi, and my ADF membership, which runs out this month, will not be renewed.

After a whole lotta whathefuckery and some really appalling moments last week (if you know what I'm talking about, you don't need any more explanation. If you don't know what I'm talking about, trust me you're far better off that way.) I think things are calming down.

Also, I've pared my friends list way down. For the most part, people that I cut were either people who haven't posted in over a year, people who I haven't talked to in a ridiculously long time, and a few folks that I couldn't even remember who they were. I will probably eventually shave a few more off, but things stand as they are for the moment. If I've kept you around, it's either because we have a lot in common, you're otherwise interesting, or my own diabolical reasons (or some combination thereof).

I'm mildly surprised to find myself pretty much stress-free over all this at this point, aside from a lot of eye-rolling and restraining myself from giving a few people a piece of my mind. (Well, job search stuff aside, but even that could be a lot worse.)

I think the weather definitely has an effect on my mood...I'm feeling a lot better in the last day and a half than I have in a while. I wasn't miserable to be sitting at work the other night with no one to talk to at four in the morning to distract me from my thoughts.

Don't worry though, life is still in a state of flux, I still don't know what's what in a lot of ways, and while I thought when it happened that dropping clergy training was The Big Bomb, but now, I'm pretty sure that it wasn't it, but was leading up to something else. (No, I don't know what. It hasn't happened yet.)

In other, somewhat related news, (Some folks already know this. I've been talking selectively about it. And by "selectively", I mean everyone but you. You just aren't good enough to know until I make the public post, bitch. Neener Neener Neener.) I'm looking at moving to the west coast, probably in about a year or just over that. (Oh yeah, Gavin's going too :-P ) I'm hoping to go out there sometime this summer for a few days, we're interested in Eugene, Oregon and I'm also hoping to harass my brother in Portland. This all came out of one of our long, ponderous conversations about how nothing seems to be right anymore. She asked if I ever thought of just leaving...which I had a million times. A week later, we were actually and seriously discussing the possibility. I took some time, gave it some serious consideration to be sure it wasn't just a "really cool idea, woohoo!" and the more i thought about it, the more concrete it became, and I realized that it fit a pattern with my life and if that pattern hold true, I'll be there in about a year.

Anyway...time to be getting going. Need to go to the post office and various other places.