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Where to start...

I had a panic attack at work tonight. It was very short-lived, I kinda caught it bfore it became much, and was completely over it in less than 15 minutes. But it was in the middle of a call. Very weird. It all happened when I suddenly found some really horrible (And unfortunately true- let it not be said that I can't accept the worst truths about myself.) things about myself just staring me in the face. Why just then- I don't know. Bad timing? But it triggered some very deep self-loathing and hatred...and honestly, I am a bit of a stranger to this. I put the customer on hold before I let it affect the call, tried to calm down and finish the call, but realized that I was having problems speaking...It took me several tries to tell Chris what was going on, he picked up the call and transferred the customer off to tier 2. I chilled out in the lounge for a few minutes, acknowledged what was going through my mind, grabbed some coffee and well...the rest of the night went about as smoothly as an evening full of tech support can go.

I've gotten a new batch of silk yarn...yay! I can't wait to finish the blanket that I'm working on. It's gonna be amazing...but it's gonna take a while (Granny squares. Crocheted from recycled silk. How much does that rock?)

As of the moment, I am planning to work as much overtime as possible at work while it's available. I want to try to save as much money as I can in the next few months- I've mentioned before how I want to study massage therapy at the Baltimore School Of Massage. At the moent, they do not have a program scheduled to begin for the spring semester...but I'm told that wil be decided in the forthcoming months. If they do offer one, I'd like to try to start then, and I'll need to be able to pay for it, and live on a somewhat reduced work schedule. If not, I'll start next fall, and I'll have even more money...woohoo! Just a note...I plan to do this, but not at the expense of my rest and sanity. If anyone catches me bitching about not sleeping right, or constantly dreaming about work, please smack me upside the head and tell me to go home (Or not go to work/work overtime...whatever...)

My ankle is mostly non-painful anymore. It hurts if I twist it around- which I really try to avoid...and the other day, I actually almost fell on it again, but I caught myself well before I did...thank gawds. But mostly now it's just stiff.

Cedarlight Grove has been asked to perform the closing ritual for the DC Pagan Pride week in September. This I am quite excited about.

All of my stuff is moved into the house now. Still getting stuff situated though, and I think I'm holding off at least a few more weeks til I get stuff from Ikea til I have everything that I have now accounted for.

And a big chunk of my brain, more and more is devoted to a few things...which I amgoing to remain fairly nonspecific about mostly because I don't feel like typing anymore tonight. I may write more tomorrow...I may not.

Sleep time.

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July 2013

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