(no subject)

[badstar]

So I've realized more and more over the last year or so that I largely define myself by my religion and related interests. Anymore, a large percentage of my time is devoted to such things. Most of my friends are somehow connected to my religious life. It's constantly what's on my mind. At work, most of my time is actually spent reading and at times writing about just such things. (Quick, who actually knows what I do for a living? Oh, nevermind. I actually do mention it enough that I think most folks know.) And looking forward, I can only really see it taking up more and more of my life in the future.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I'm perfectly okay with the idea.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to needa one night, and conversation drifted into the subject of dating, and whether I found it crucial to be with someone of the same religion.

Maybe it's kinda dumb, but this conversation quickly became very uncomfortable in my mind. It was a little much when combined with the fact that the realization of attraction for someone had just hit me like the proverbial ton of runaway lead mack trucks only a few hours earlier. (Okay, so I had actually realized it a while ago, and continually ignored it/brushed it off for several reasons. And then it just did one of those numbers where it punches me in the face and forces me to confront it. Or at least admit it to myself, cause so far there's been no actual "confrontation". Just a whole lot of facial contortions while pondering the thought and what to do.)

Wiskey tango fuck does one thing have to do with another? Hell if I know. Oh yeah...the idea of relationships plus the life-consuming religion thing. Gaaaaah. It's complicated! And it's only hypothetical! How the hell does that translate to real life?

I think it all comes back to one thing...I know that it's not exactly realistic to be willing to venture outside of my religion- Baltimore's not exactly hopping with Hellenics, I think that I and the roommate comprise a third to a half of the population- but anyone that I ever do end up in a relationship with will need to have an active understanding (or a pretty damned strong acceptance) of where I'm coming from. Otherwise, it just won't work.

In other news, I bit two fingernails off tonight. Time for nail polish again.

Um...I need to start finding other things to occupy my brain at work. Maybe I should try crime novels or word-search puzzles. Or maybe I should go back to day shift. Was I this dramatically ponderous when I didn't have 12 hours of silence at a stretch to be alone with my thoughts???

Comments

[eternalhearts.livejournal.com]

I know some Hellenics open up their 'dating circle' to recons only. Me, I'm not picky as long as they have an appreciation for what I do and are spiritual in thier own way.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

I, obviously, come from a very strong culture of staying in the tribe/religion, and I married in it. I've dated outside it, of course, but my bottom line always ended up "In any situation that involves my hypothetical future children, I want the people who raise them with me to be either of my religion or sufficiently uncaring about theirs that mine _will_ be the only one going on."

I've found, when I date people within my religion, there _is_ another layer of things we have in common, and it's a very important one, even though I spend a lot less energy on my religion than you do on yours. It's not crucial, and I've certainly gotten involved with people without it, but it brings something into the relationship that nothing else does.

Acceptance is a bare minimum. But it's _nice_ to have someone who uses the same spiritual shorthand that you do.

[fuego.livejournal.com]

*nod*...I haven't really considered the whole other can of worms of raising kids because I don't plan to have any. But what you say makes good sense.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

I'm so far quite uncertain whether I will, myself, but at one point I decided that it's as good a guideline as any - I want to live my life in approximately the manner that I would want to raise my hypothetical future children in. Because if ever I _do_ have'em, I know I'm unlikely to change things _then_, and I'd feel like a hypocrite if I did.

[fuego.livejournal.com]

good point

[erl-queen.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the world of people obsessed with our religion - an old friend of mine used to say we were another species, homo religiosis. I warn you, it can get even more consuming than it already is. :)

As for dating people... ever since this became my life, I have been unable to conceive of seriously dating someone who wasn't at least polytheist. I've been with a Celtic Recon, an Asatruar, and now a Greco-Egyptian syncreticist. All of those paths were enough like my own to make working together spiritually possible. I know it limits my options - but personally I know that other things about me limit my options anyway. Still, it would be a deal-breaker for me, because my religion IS who I am, it's what I do, and it comes first. Someone would have to really understand that. But I don't deny it's a tricky position to be in.

[fuego.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the world of people obsessed with our religion - an old friend of mine used to say we were another species, homo religiosis.

I will have to remember that one.

I warn you, it can get even more consuming than it already is. :)

Yeah, I kinda figured that.

I have been unable to conceive of seriously dating someone who wasn't at least polytheist.

That was one of the major thoughts floating around my head last night.